Almost choked on a vitamin pill. Pretty ironic if you ask me..
Like going blind from Lasik or an assassin accepting a hit on his own life. (Although that last one is more of a conflict of interest.. [unless he’s suicidal then being paid to do that would be brilliant])
These were just a few of my thoughts seconds after narrowly escaping (coughing up) death. Oh Joy I do think my insanity is flaring up again
I still didn’t recover. IDK if i’ll ever be back to normal :(
Question time! TMIs, have you evers, anything you want! Cmon you know you want to!
Seriously though. TMIs, have you evers, anonymous, anything you want.. send them shits in yo!!!
My mom tells me that she’s expecting some packages and then I hear the doorbell ring. I ran quickly to where I usually put my keys. (cuz i know these niggas ring once then run back to their van and peel outta there like they robbed a bank) I couldnt find my keys so i ran downstairs and open the first door so I can tell the guy to wait and I see this older man at the door with a pamphlet in his hand.
He asks me “would you like to know the truth?” I just stare at him and he says “One of the questions this pamphlet answers is whether or not god loves us.” After saying some other shit he pushes the pamphlet through the mail opening and leaves. Mothafucka I already Know the truth. God obviously loves yo ass! Cuz if I found my keys and was able to open my door I woulda This-Is-Sparta kicked your ass down my steps!! shit.. nigga made me move mad much after eating for no reason..
a good massage right about now. Oooooh I would enjoy the fuck out of that right now! And I’d reciprocate that shit! Its a Win-Win! So bring it!
Just did a 12.5 hour shift no breaks for the wonderful fiends of nyc..
Fucking assholes most of them I swear. Like some of these people really came here expecting to get their items mad quick. No its black friday you gon wait just like everybody else. you aint special. And then you gonna try and aim your aggression at me? I have no problem putting you on hold for a couple mins and move on to the next person. good luck finding a manager shiiiit.
Ok im done. Home now. Pie(food) has been eaten. so all is forgiven. Aint my problem anymore!
This nigga really just said. He’d let 40,000 troops and their horses lay with his sister just so he’d get back home. Damn.. All while gently touching her face and then he ends it with a kiss on the forehead like that shit was cool
I think every guy’s mind is as bad as mines. They just keep it to themselves a lot more.
So I just get home from work and I turn my car off. This guy walks pass my car and turns around and looks dead at me long enough to be considered grilling. So I look right back at him with a “The fuck you looking at nigga” face. Then he turned around and kept walking.
So I’m like.. “Thats what i thought!” in my head as I sip on whats left of my medium wendy’s drink but theres not that much left. So im grilling this guy with the meanest look I can muster with that loud “no more drink/nuttin but ice” sound. He aint see that part but if he did! He would fear for his life!!